uhg

well i started walking, i did a mile, half on the treadmill and half on the elliptical, it took me 20 min and by the end i could feel my calves burning. I knew i probably shouldn't have pushed so hard, but i know diet isn't going to change my body at all i need to become more active. In fact i was a bit worried that i wouldn't be able to do it. But i succeeded and i now just need to make myself add it to my routine.

I have started reading some fitness and weight loss blogs in addition to the fat acceptance blogs i read. I think I'm just clouding my mind at this point. The weight loss blogs make me sad when girls show pictures of them selves that i think are beautiful, and they go on  to talk about how disgusting their body was then and how they will never let themselves go like that again. I think these pictures are beautiful ... these pictures look like me. I think i am beautiful. I have some health issues (that my thinner family members also have I'm not unhealthy because of my weight) and my doctor suggested exercise ( not weight loss!) to help get myself to a better spot health wise. But I am so saddened by how these other women tear themselves apart.

Of course i am sad when i see some piece of clothing that i love ,but does not come in my size. I do not think it makes me a foul beast.  Uhrg i really can't get out quite what i am thinking now, I'm sure I'll revisit this later.


on a side note after i posted the blog about the freeman clay mask i emailed them with some questions about it , i have yet to hear back... shady. but i bought it so I'm using it up, i squirted out some extra while i was putting it on this evening and decide to do my hands with it as an experiment.... mmm nice soft hands!

so I'm not sad to say i haven't gotten on the scale, i think it was actually making me not want to blog , being afraid the number on the scale would go up. I may just start measuring and only weigh myself once a week as opposed to every time i post.

so not what i was hoping for

In starting a blog, I was hoping to motivate myself to change in positive ways and learn to accept what my body can do and move on  from there. Granted 4 posts in probably doesn't encompass everything i have to offer, but i think that I may be Bipolar... i will look into seeing a doctor about it and keep my lack of readership updated.

also bought fabric to make 2 beautiful black and white plaid skirts, one taffeta one a heavyweight knit like stuff. As I have really only been seriously sewing for a few months this will be an adventure and hopefully will turn out well. I'm starting by making my own pattern using the tips from Gerties Blog for better sewing
i have to play with the sewing machine a bit and see if i have an invisible zipper foot , if not i will have to buy one.

i may start posting outfits of the day.

blargh

Oh I'm sorry , to my readership of none, that i did not post yesterday, the windows in my apartment are supposed to be replaced tomorrow and there isn't supposed to be anything within 4 feet of them. it was a lot of crap to move. the sewing machine and desk, my desktop computer and desk, the dinning room table and chairs. and i had to clean up all the projects that have been slowly taking over the living room .

(pirate/owl door wreath, spiderweb/bride of Frankenstein corset and waist cincher, aqua rose veiled cocktail hat, circus purse, grey knit tank top catastrophe, learn to crochet, and 2 -tshirts i am shredding. also feathers, sequins, beads,rhinestones,floral leaves, zippers, 9 spools of thread, 6 spools of ribbon, the iron and ironing board, Steve's "missing" roll of nylon webbing and several miserable attempts at a self drafted tank top pattern)

some times i have much more inspiration than ability..... if any of these projects come to fruition i will be sure to post pictures

on PMS meds and DS games

241.6

I think that posting near the same time each day might give a better idea of any actuall progress, but retail does not make for any kind of consistent schedule.

Why is there a warning on Midol that you should not take it if you have issues with your prostate? Do that many guys frequently take Midol? Is this an epidemic?

Hopefully whoever keeps making it so that the code for the fitness center keeps getting changes will get themselves together and we  can keep the same code for awhile, having to constantly remember a new code (while great exercise for my prefrontal cortex (brain age taught me something!) is getting old.

okay 2 days in a row! And a product review

242.2.. We'll see if we can get the numbers headed down (the royal we).

So I love a good clay mask, if my skin goes crazy or if I just want to be pampered I will break out the clay mask. The best part about a good clay  masque to me is the deep clean at the end.

 The first mask i ever used was St.Ives clay mask, it was a green clay mask, as they have reformulated much of thier product line and changed thier packaging i'm not even sure they make it anymore. The one I rember came in a tub and was just for "regular "skin.

 As I got further into full teenage skin freakout mode and started shopping more for myself I tried many products but found a favorite: Queen Helene Mint Julep Clay Masque. It claims to help with blackheads as well as dry up pimples and shrink pores. I never saw much pore shrinkage or reduction in black heads, but others have had better results with that. My Favorite part about this mask is that it is minty and has a gentle tingle as it dries.



This is right from thier web page( mine is long gone)

 Now when I ran out last time and coluldn't find Queen Helene anywhere I decided to try something new.
I've used other Freeman products some of thier pedicure scrubs and foot lotions, so when I saw this:




Again borrowed from the compays website

I decided to give it a try.Mint: check. clay mask: check. Lemon is supposed to help soothe skin and according to the tube it is perfect for oily tzone types ( hello me). So first what i like, it smells great minty citrus. It cleans like a clay mask should and my skin feels great and clean after.

Now what i don't like, it feels greasy coming out of the tube and you have to spread it VERY thin for it to dry in reasonable amount of time. Previous masks I have used I was able to spread on and within 10-15 min they were dry and flaky, the first time i used this i put it on thick and almost 45 min later it was no where near dry, I just rinsed it off and decided to try another time. Subsequesnt times I put it on more sparingly and had a better time with it drying, but I'm still not sold. As soon as i find my Queen Helen I'll be switching back. Sorry Freeman you may have my feet... but not my face:(

A very good place to start

Well I'm not starting at the beginning, but it's as good a day as any other.
The disgruntled hunk of plastic in the bathroom says i have reached 240lbs, I don't feel them, but I guess they are there. One of many goals in starting this project is to reduce that number with out the clever excuses I usually use: I was wearing "heavy" clothes, I had on my glasses, there was chap stick in my pockets... as while all of these add uncountable pounds I know inside that they are not really the reason the number has climbed so far out of my acceptable region.