well i started walking, i did a mile, half on the treadmill and half on the elliptical, it took me 20 min and by the end i could feel my calves burning. I knew i probably shouldn't have pushed so hard, but i know diet isn't going to change my body at all i need to become more active. In fact i was a bit worried that i wouldn't be able to do it. But i succeeded and i now just need to make myself add it to my routine.
I have started reading some fitness and weight loss blogs in addition to the fat acceptance blogs i read. I think I'm just clouding my mind at this point. The weight loss blogs make me sad when girls show pictures of them selves that i think are beautiful, and they go on to talk about how disgusting their body was then and how they will never let themselves go like that again. I think these pictures are beautiful ... these pictures look like me. I think i am beautiful. I have some health issues (that my thinner family members also have I'm not unhealthy because of my weight) and my doctor suggested exercise ( not weight loss!) to help get myself to a better spot health wise. But I am so saddened by how these other women tear themselves apart.
Of course i am sad when i see some piece of clothing that i love ,but does not come in my size. I do not think it makes me a foul beast. Uhrg i really can't get out quite what i am thinking now, I'm sure I'll revisit this later.
on a side note after i posted the blog about the freeman clay mask i emailed them with some questions about it , i have yet to hear back... shady. but i bought it so I'm using it up, i squirted out some extra while i was putting it on this evening and decide to do my hands with it as an experiment.... mmm nice soft hands!
so I'm not sad to say i haven't gotten on the scale, i think it was actually making me not want to blog , being afraid the number on the scale would go up. I may just start measuring and only weigh myself once a week as opposed to every time i post.
